Every day, I understand less.
Santa has visited early this year, and has brought a Lego Advent calendar. There are 24 little numbered doors, each containing a dime bag of Legos. There’s a new toy or doodad to build every day, which, in turn, builds anticipation for Christmas.
I will build these and attempt to discern what they are.
December 7: Pastry Altar
Bring forth your jelly doughnuts to be sacrificed at the pastry altar, and kneel before your offering.
The pastry altar knows not of fun. The pastry altar knows only of fire and [quite serious] rainbow sprinkles.
Ease of Build ★★☆☆☆
The instructions were a little rough: And thou shalt make an altar of shittim wood: two cubits and a half shall be the length thereof, and a cubit and a half the breadth thereof. And thou shalt make a red disk, of beaten work shalt thou make it in the center of the altar. And make one red and white pole on one end, and the other red and white pole on the other end: even of the altar shall ye make the poles on the two ends thereof. And upon the poles stretched on high shall there be two demi-cylinders of white astride a light blue crystal, covering the altar, and so covered shall it be by it.
This is like one of those enigmatic memes where I have to just chalk it up as a Dr. Who reference that I don’t care to understand and go about my day. I am gathering from context that the order in which these prizes are revealed does matter. Immediately following the postal nerd came the festive mailbox, which seemed related. Now we have an embarrassed bellhop with a pastry followed immediately by this pastry-related item. It’s a thread begging to be pulled, like a plot device from an Indiana Jones movie, but I’m at a loss for where it leads. I believe that I have built it correctly, down to the placement of the dessert trinity. The red and white sticks appear to be holding up a gem or a light or a bubble level of some sort. I’m guessing that there’s a secret chamber halfway between the 12th and 14th floors of the embarrassed bellhop’s bougie hotel, and that this altar is there for him to perform dark rituals, worshiping danishes and transmogrifying doughnuts into diabetes, but I dare not speculate.
Extra Parts ★☆☆☆☆
One pastry. I already had a spare pastry from yesterday. It came with the epaulets.
I’m not even funny confused. I’m just regular confused.