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The plot thickens.
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Santa has visited early this year, and has brought a Lego Advent calendar. There are 24 little numbered doors, each containing a dime bag of Legos. There’s a new toy or doodad to build every day, which, in turn, builds anticipation for Christmas.
I will build these and attempt to discern what they are.
December 4: Fire Piano
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This brings back fond memories of childhood, when we would gather around the piano, set its torches ablaze, and plunk out some carols while the cat stared into the abyss. I can’t tell if it’s Norman Rockwell in the style of Salvador Dalí or Salvador Dalí in the style of Norman Rockwell, but I’m on board.
Rating
Fun ★★★★★
It doesn’t get much more fun than this. A piano would be fun enough, but it also comes with a pet? Also, it has caused to me to imagine this conversation:
Tour Manager: Well, the good news is that we found you an upright piano...
Alice Cooper: What's the bad news?
Tour Manager: Um, it has a genuinely excessive amount of pyrotechnics.
Alice Cooper: [pinches himself]
Ease of Build ★★★☆☆
None of these are real brain benders—nothing on par with the golf tee game at a Cracker Barrel—but I found this one a little finicky. The key bed is made of two 1×4 pieces and it would have benefited by being one 2×4 piece, for example, and the burnt sienna bits are barely distinguishable from the chocolate brown bits in the miniature instructions.
Comprehensibility ★★★★☆
Do I know why the keyboard on this piano only has one octave’s worth of keys? No. Do I know why it has two cauldrons of fire shooting out flames that are clearly the size of a house cat? No. Do I know why the cat is unperturbed by the inferno? Why the cat is looking poignantly into the middle distance? Why there’s a cat at all? I don’t know the answers to any of these, but I am along for the ride on this one.
Extra Parts ★★★★★
MORE FIRE.
Overall ★★★★★
If you’re looking for family fun, look no further. New York’s hottest club is Fire Piano. Opened in 2022, this derelict barge moored behind LaGuardia was started by one-legged blues legend Clapton Ahab. Needless to say, this place has everything: all of the notes from Julie Andrews’ Do-Re-Mi, hand-hewn sconces of fire, that thing where a cat eats a bunch of your medicine and wanders around the house startled by spirits…