Welcome to Dick Chafey's Docklines 'n' Such

Boat's ain't much for stayin' put. The wind and waves are always fixin' to take your boat for a spin, whether you're there to grab the the reins or not. If a man steals your horse, it's well within your rights to shoot him, but shootin' the ocean just makes it meaner. So what can you do to keep your pony in the paddock? Docklines. And we're not talkin' 'bout your grandpappy's old spun jute. You need the peace of mind that only Dick Chafey can provide.

The Classic

When nothing else will do, count on rusty chain to keep your boat where you left it. With 4x the catenary of ordinary rope, this chain will rip off your cleats and spit in your eye before breaking. Known to prison guards for centuries as the only material that can keep gangs in order, this chain comes in 4 sizes ranging from "ridiculous" to "absurd" and is available in either Briny Rust or Powdery Corundum finishes.


Colonel Punishment

Forget Corporal Punishment—we're going straight to full-bird Colonel! Inspired by the Pamela Anderson movie Barb Wire, this dockline hates seeing your boat leave the dock unexpectedly as much as it hates gelcoat. Available by the foot or full spool (for those overly thorough yachty types) this can also be used to corral steer and capture tumbleweeds (surprisingly high in protein).


The Hackmaster

Holy shit! We take a stack of five (5) fresh hacksaw blades and put a split ring through the holes in each end. Then we connect more stacks until these docklines fit your boat like OJ's glove. Handmade by Asians with nearly all of their fingers, The Hackmaster will make you wish that you had a Boston Whaler.